'Happy' Women's Day?

There's nothing happy about the ‘International women's day’. Not this one and not any other. But definitely, not this one.

First there is the question around the dubious need for a specific day to celebrate 'women'. Excuse me, but last I checked, wasn't that something the world should be doing anyways, every day, every moment- Without making any pomp and show about it and definitely without feeling like it deserves a pat on the back. By having a specific day for something that should be the norm, the world is only spotlighting its ineptitude in giving to women all that they deserve. And yet the world celebrates this day. It's almost ironical.

And then of course there is the point, that whatever the original noble intentions, the day no longer means what it was meant to mean. As the very wise wikipedia informs me, International Women's Day was declared in 1910 by the German socialist leader Clara Zetkin as a day of solidarity to mark the fight of women for equal rights and was officially recognized by the United Nations in 1975. But now, year after year, it's been contorted into something politicians can use to get face time and brands can use to tout their products. And not just in India. A club in singapore was advertising it's TGIW (Thank god I'm a Woman) night on Women's day, complete with free Mary Janes and GalPal discounts! The whole world is going down that route. I ask, what's the point? It's almost patronizing of the world to make such a huge superficial hue and cry about the day, only to promptly go back to the normal (unfair) order of things right after.

And what exactly do we have to celebrate this year? The same bag of problems hang around our neck: Rape, Female child mortality, child marriage, sexual harassment, violence against women, gender bias. And just in case we thought we didn’t have enough to deal with in this century, we have the Sri Ram Sene. (Incase anyone needs reminding about who they are and what they did at Mangalore earlier this year, read this). Women in India are still not free, neither in the rural nor the urban settings. Just that the shackles are different. But at its very root the fight is much for the same thing; and that is free-will. Be it the free-will to choose their life partner, to not have to cover their faces, to go wherever they want or even the ability to sit in a pub and drink without the fear of being beaten up. It’s not wrong for society to frown on certain things. While many years ago the point of discord might have been whether to let women out of the house and into the workforce, today the issue is about whether to let them into clubs and pubs and the likes. But at the heart of the matter lies the fact that frowned or not, it’s all a matter of the woman’s free will. And it is really no one’s business to tell a woman what she can or can’t do. Sadly we live in a society that burdens its women with the duty of upholding the morality of our culture while the men gallivant around chasing skirts and being men; A society that continues to ignore women as independent people with their own wants and wishes and a right to live their life as they please.

And all this is not just on a macro level; it trickles down to a personal level too, though the issues may be different or seemingly less significant. I am an independent woman, who speaks her mind, does what she wants, wears whatever catches her fancy and drinks whatever quenches her thirst. But the single reason I am able to do all that is 'cause I live outside India. And I still get badgered and pressured on how a certain age should equate to a certain marital status and how I can’t do so many things simply cause I am a girl and it’s not acceptable or safe. And idiots like the Sri Ram Sene only give this more mileage.

And so I ask, really, what’s so happy about the ‘International Women’s day’?

Everything that I wish I wasn't saying

There are times when there are a million things in your head and you need to express them all, but you have no idea how. And then, just like that, along comes a song that says it all. Just the way you would. Even Better.

This is that song: For the things that I need to say to you, but I wish I wasn't. I have no idea if you will come by here and see this. But I hope you do.

25 Random Facts About Yours Truly!

Yup I am joining the bandwagon. And doing the 25 list thingie! And that too, by my own volition. (I can see some of you shaking your head with a look that says 'I always knew this girl was mad') . Why subject myself to this, you ask? Well simply coz this is sort of like a Meme and being a meme-virgin (Batting eyelids, blushing face) I am a little excited about it. Maybe it's also coz I am a slighly-narcissistic blogger and I do love talking about myself. More than anything, it's because I have a feeling that I am going to surprise myself. So bear with me and read on please. Pretty please?

1. I am the quintessential jack of all trades. I can play 7 instruments- Guitar, Harmonica, Tabla, Harmonium, Tanpura, Drums and Bongo. But none with any spectacular degree of proficiency. I can speak 6 languages- Hindi, English, Bengali, Punjabi, Gujarati & Italian. But only two of those with a high degree of proficiency. I have dabbled in Kathak, Salsa and Jive, but am an expert in none of those. You get the Picture, don't you?
2. Something that I get from my mom is a penchant for making lists and plans. Things to do lists, timetables and longterm timelines: I specialise in Weight-loss plans and personal finances management plans. What I dont specialise in, sadly, is following any of the stuff that I plan. Half a talent is such a waste!
3. I love the sight of painted pretty nails. Days when I get my nails done, I can't stop waving them around like a prima donna. I am told it can get pretty irritating for everyone else.
4. I have had milk straight out of a cow, with the whole awkward-position-head-bent-and-squirt-aimed-at-my-mouth. The milk tasted good, the experience was wierd and the fact is something I am secretly proud of. Well, not so so secretly anymore, but still proud.
5. I am a feminist of sorts. Not your bra-burning-morcha-holding types. But the type who can tell when things are unfair and will do something about it. I refuse to settle for a half-life simply because I am of the female species. And I get frustrated with people who expect me to.
6. I love it when the wind blows through my hair and flicks strands of my hair on my face. It's the single thing that can make me feel pretty, no matter any amount of zits, blackheads or any other other gunk that might be vacationing on my face.
7. I get very amazed and sometimes frustrated with people who refuse to live their life king size and in the moment. It's one life people. Just one. All the more reason to live it up!!
8. There's nothing more comforting than an over-used and over-washed t-shirt. I have saved plenty from annihilation at the hands of my mom and will continue to do so till my very last breath. Much to her frustration.
9. I dream of living a life where the money is enough and the lifestyle lets me be spontaneous and impulsive. I am told that's a freelancer's life. Methinks a rich heiress' life works much better.
10. I am a praise-junkie. I thrive on the simple concept of work and reward. Consequently, I expect to be praised even for doing my job satisfactorily. It's a bad habit, I know.
11. While growing up, there is nothing I wanted more than a Dog. And now that am all grown up, there's nothing I value and want more than my freedom and independence. Between the two, my parents had a much easier time dealing with my wish for a dog!
12. When I was 5, I announced to the family that I was leaving home (following a fight) and promptly walked out. It lasted all of 10 mins, before dad caught up with me and carried me back. I waited 12 years before I tried that stunt again. And this time the family came to drop me all the way!
13. I think the single most important thing about life is all the people you meet and especially the ones that you love. And it me amazes how rich my life has been in that regard so far.
14. Nothing petrifies me more than labor pain!
15. I was a vegetarian for 12 years of my life. I decided on it when I was 8 (after a very revealing trip to the butcher's) and stuck to it all the way till I came to Singapore. Now, I eat 'Everything'.
16. There are some songs that always make me smile, no matter what my mood. 'Kiss me' by six pence none the richer is one of them. 'Free falling' by Tom petty is another.
17. There are days when I worry that my time will run out before I can do all that I want to do. That I might be wasting my time on mundane things like holding a job, buying a house etc. There are other days when my worries don't run so deep. On those days I mostly obssess about my weight, my hair, my face. Oh and world peace. Definitely world peace!
18. I love weddings. I love dancing on the streets at weddings. I love the dolling up that happens at weddings. The songs, the colors, the ceremonies, the people, the food. I simply love being a part of weddings, as long as (and here's the catch) it's not mine.
19. The single experience that I most want to have with all of my heart is to live by myself in a place of my own in Bombay. I also know that it is the one thing I will never have.
20. During moments of plain evil mixed with pure genius, I have thought of naming my future children- Katori Devi and Hukumchand, if they don't behave themselves (Read as: If they cry too much and wake me up in the middle of the night). Thankfully these moments almost always pass.
21. I am a complete romantic and mush-pot at heart. I drool at the idea of surprises, offbeat-bent-knee-proposals, thoughtful gifts out of the blue, beachside weddings. And yet I think flowers and chocolates are over-rated. And cliched too!
22. I love food and I have very eclectic and specific cravings. Usually these revolve around (And am sure you haven't heard of some of these)- Funflips, Bonny mix, Nutties, Fatafat, Haldiram's Nutcrackers, Panipuri, Tibbs Frankie, Raju Chinese, Pav Bhaji, China-Valley-Sweet-Corn-Chicken-Soup, Bombay Sandwich. The list goes on. And on.
23. I can lose myself entirely in a book or a movie. And when I say entirely, I mean that it would take a hurricane (or even a bowl-ful of water thrown at me, as has worked in the past) to get me to come back to the now. Nothing milder would work. It's like my brain switches tracks and puts on blinkers.
24. I was in love with Michael Jackson when I was 11. I had a poster of him on my wall, that I would wish good night to, before going to bed. I consider this the single most embarassing thing I have ever done! Thankfully, now that place has been usurped by the very-yum-and-edible Kunal kapoor. And even more thankfully, without the ritualistic 'good-nights'!
25. Bombay, Delhi, Bangkok are my favourite cities in the world. I think New york has the potential to be added to that list, even though I haven't been there yet. I really really hope to some day soon.

I could fill another 20 more points on this list easily. But then it is supposed to be only 25 points, no?