*Blank*

It's not often that I find myself mellow and sad. It's not often that I feel a certain kind of moistness on the edge of my eyelids. Today doesn't come very often. And for good reason too. I don't want it. I don't like it. I'm searching for my smile, my ability to laugh everything off, my stupid stupid optimism.

And I can't find it.

All I can find is disappointment, sadness, the feeling that I've been let down. And the realisation that what she means to me is perhaps not what I mean to her. That's the only way I can explain it all. She tells me otherwise. I want to believe. But the nagging voice in my head goes on. Someone make it stop. Make it shut up.

There's a song playing in the background. I stop to listen to it. "...Open up my eager eyes...‘Cause I’m Mr Brightside..." Very apt.

I smile ruefully to myself. Cause, you see, I'm Mr. Brightside.

Currently Reading: Nothing really.
Currently Listening: Mr Brightside- The Killers, Have you ever seen the rain- CCR