This is lame, I know. Writing a new-year post almost 3 months into the year IS lame. But not as unacceptable as it would be if I were to completely ignore the changing of the calendar and skip one of the very few blog-rituals I do have.
So delayed as it may be, I must write that customary post: A eulogy to the year no more and a welcome to the year that is. But somehow this time, writing ‘the post’ feels like a chore, a task to drag my feet on, and perhaps even a little pointless. That definitely has to do in part with the realization that life is lived (and hence looked back upon) not by the calendar years but by the events and changes that happen in it. But more importantly I think it has more to do with the year itself-2009
What do you write about a year that felt like a whirlwind? A year that made you giddy with all its ups and downs? A year that was so far removed from what you had predicted, that it had to have had a mind and will of its own? A year that very dramatically followed the format of a Bollywood-flick, right from the climatic complications to the ‘all’s well that ends well’ finish?
Bitter- sweet- sour and every other flavor imaginable, 2009 was a year that started off tangled, twisted, confused and then proceeded to unravel itself completely before finally ending with all the ends tied neatly. Such years are very rare, I’m told. Not for their level of complications and twists but for the clarity and sense of peace with which they end. And sometimes even for the surprises they bring. And surprising it was. As the year started, if someone had asked me how I thought my year would turn out, my answer would have definitely been about some kind of boring version of my life; A lot of cribbing, a little heartburn and possibly a different work-scene- but definitely around India or Singapore. Instead, I spent the better half of the year in a middle-eastern country, made a few friends and then some more, almost fasted to starvation during Ramadan, learnt a smattering of Arabic, became an expert in taking flights & transiting, had a fairly decent time in the sandbox and somehow even managed to miss and pine-for the Lah-land (something I had thought I would never do).
Bitter- sweet- sour and every other flavor imaginable, 2009 was a year that started off tangled, twisted, confused and then proceeded to unravel itself completely before finally ending with all the ends tied neatly. Such years are very rare, I’m told. Not for their level of complications and twists but for the clarity and sense of peace with which they end. And sometimes even for the surprises they bring. And surprising it was. As the year started, if someone had asked me how I thought my year would turn out, my answer would have definitely been about some kind of boring version of my life; A lot of cribbing, a little heartburn and possibly a different work-scene- but definitely around India or Singapore. Instead, I spent the better half of the year in a middle-eastern country, made a few friends and then some more, almost fasted to starvation during Ramadan, learnt a smattering of Arabic, became an expert in taking flights & transiting, had a fairly decent time in the sandbox and somehow even managed to miss and pine-for the Lah-land (something I had thought I would never do).
There were other tinier drops of unpredictability in my year too. On separate occasions- I got dunked into a pool with all my clothes on, slept in a sleeping-bag on a sandy beach right under the stars, Pee-ed in public (for the first time in my adult life) hidden behind a dense bush of green foliage, finished an entire bottle of a very exquisite Riesling on my own (and still kept standing, with surprising sanity), got shat on the head by a bird (another first) and went paragliding (which was absolutely divine). But not all of it was upbeat. Kuwait did get incredibly lonely at times. And spending a birthday alone was never part of the plan. Somewhere in the middle, I had an upheaval in the heart-department and spent an agonizing period wondering how things would get better, if at all. But get better they did.
Which brings me to the ‘All’s well that ends well’ finish. The single most pissing-off and yet brilliant thing about the year was its unpredictability. When I thought things would get better, they got worse and when I thought things would only go downhill, they suddenly took the escalator upwards. And just like a bollywood movie where the happy end makes up for all the despair before, I said goodbye to 2009 with a sense of peace, a feeling of maturity and loads of tuneless singing and fun!
I continue to marvel at how lucky I have been in the friends department: The ones in Singapore- near n close and the ones far away- not near but still as close. So here’s a shout out to all of you in Kuwait: Ahmad, Mona, Janine, Marwah, Qasim- My time in Kuwait and my year wouldn’t have been the same without all of you. And another shout out to the peeps over in India: Miss Order, Journo-chic, Dimples, Machao-babe, HappyBrave, Uncleji, IITBoy & pokermon. Come visit me already now! And only coz I know I would get flak for not doing it, here’s a shout out to you too methodman!
So now that it’s 2010, I find that I’m still asking myself pretty much the same questions on love, life, choices and the future, as I was a year back. And perhaps I’ll keep asking them for the years to come. What’s different now is that I’m happy with my questions and no answers. Maybe that’s how it’s supposed to be. Maybe these are questions that you are never supposed to figure answers to, until the time comes. And then life itself brings the answers to you. Something tells me that’s how life is meant to be lived- With a little abandon, with a little less ‘figuring’ and a whole lot of ‘doing’. And so, this year-2010, that’s what I am going to be doing. The possibilities seem to be endless and I am running out of excuses not to go out there and try ‘em and take a chance on myself. Wish me luck, world!
Curently Listening: Symphonies- Dan Black, Hey ya- Karthik Calling Karthik
